Pick-up artists are in vogue. Because everyone wants the maximum success in dating, the ideal partner. Or an exciting sex life. Or a partner at all. The latter might be the main reason why many men in USA are interested in Pick-Up Artists. Because American women today are pickier than ever. Accordingly, the number of single men continues to rise from year to year. Fortunately, there is the Pick-Up Artist, who can train any lonely man to be a womanizer. I too was once carried away by the promises and attended a course with a very well-known pick-up guru in US. I will describe my experience and opinion on this subject in the following. I.e. we will investigate the question whether Pick-Up works and can make a womanizer out of every man. Too good to be true?

Pick-Up Artists and my experience

Before I met Alisa, I was also once single. In the beginning I was very euphoric. Finally free, my old relationship behind me and I could meet as many women as I wanted. That's why I registered with various internet dating sites. I also always knew about all the upcoming singles parties, which I then attended. Because I wanted to meet women, the more attractive the better. At that time, I was not aware that you should not make your life's happiness dependent only on the opposite sex. I hated being single and felt empty and meaningless on my own. No wonder, since I had lived in a relationship for a long time and was not used to being alone. Unfortunately, we humans are creatures of habit. Everything we don't know, we don't like at first. At least it is often so and so it was with me at that time.

That's why I wanted to meet women. But the dates did not go as I had hoped. Not bad, because none of the women I met treated me badly. There were also some with whom "more" would have been possible. But those were mostly not the women I wanted. Because the ones I wanted were clearly more demanding. I never had the feeling that I had no chance with such a woman. But at something it always seemed to fail in the end. Because at the latest after the third date it was always: "Sorry, but it just does not fit". Accordingly, I was frustrated and wanted to know what I was doing wrong. And so I came across the topic of Pick-Up Artist on the Internet.

Immersion in the scene and enthusiasm

The pick-up scene looked very seductive to me. Probably to many men. Because what man doesn't like to hear that he too can be a ladies' man. After all, it meant that we live in a just world. One(s) only had to make an effort, behave properly and one was the dream man of every dream woman. On a par with Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Who didn't want that? That's why I ordered the book of a very famous pick-up artist from USA (whose name I don't want to mention here). I was very excited about what I read in it: "Develop your personality and thus your success with women". I immediately went into action. And actually increased my success with women.

"No touch, no seduction", if only I had known that earlier. Because in fact, if you keep too much distance on a date, you don't build attraction. Unfortunately, this wisdom contradicts a bit with the current "MeToo" zeitgeist, according to which a man had better not get too close to a woman. And so, in the beginning, I also seemed to many women more like the dear asexual buddy. That's why it never "sparked". That changed only when I heeded the advice of the pick-up artist. Suddenly I had a woman's hand between my legs before I could order the second glass of beer. A great experience. So yes, you could definitely learn something from a pick-up artist.

Sobering insights of a budding pick-up artist

On the other hand, the advice from the seduction coaches also led me to suddenly do weird things. I went on dates wearing bright white jeans, a pink shirt and a glitter belt because a pick-up artist thought it was important to stand out. The women saw it differently. I tried to impress them with snappy sayings, but no one bought it. Because suddenly I was no longer myself. I tried to be someone I wasn't. Sure, there are pick-up artists today who preach authenticity. But what does this look like in practice? The "from Quasimodo to James Bond" mentality still applies in the scene. Does every man really have what it takes to be a womanizer? Sure, you can work on yourself and increase your success with the opposite sex. But at some point I reached my natural limits.

Because the attractive dream women I wanted remained unattainable. Despite my progress, they were "difficult to lift". At least they didn't want to get involved in a serious relationship with me. It always seemed to me that they found me quite entertaining for a few dates, but not good enough for a long-term relationship. Because attractive women in US know their market value and are accordingly demanding. If you want to attract such a woman in the long run, you have to be able to offer more than just a self-confident appearance (e.g. it can't hurt to be physically attractive or at least to have above-average wealth). And even as far as character is concerned, I eventually became skeptical about whether you can change it at will. In the end, every person is a little bit the way he is. Everyone has his peculiarities and that's just fine. I recognized and accepted this in the end.

My other way to love happiness

I had recognized that a healthy self-confidence also includes accepting myself as I am. But I still didn't want to lower my standards when looking for a partner. Why should I? I knew that there was another way to increase my success with women. Namely, no longer by asking myself HOW can I convince attractive women of me but WHERE can I convince attractive women of me. Since I have always had Eastern European friends, I knew that the search for a partner was much more pleasant for a man in Eastern Europe than in Germany. This doesn't have to apply to every German man, but I knew deep down that I would be one of those men. That's exactly how it turned out. After less than half a year of being single, I already met my Russian dream woman. Just as I am, without being a Pick-Up Artist.

What is a Pick-Up Artist?

The term "pick-up" in this case does not stand for the American driving colossus with a large cargo space, but in the context of "How to Pick Up Girls". In other words, how you as a man can "pick up" women. Accordingly, "pick-up artist" describes a professional in seducing women. Although today there are also female pick-up artists, the scene is mainly focused on men. Meanwhile, there is a whole industry of seduction coaches and women savvy, where the helpless single man can get help. After all, a pick-up artist promises more success with women. And there are many western men who probably need this urgently. This creates a natural business model of supply and demand. I myself was a customer of such a pick-up artist. He not only sells books, but usually workshops or individual support, often at high prices. Whereby the price justifies or can justify the gain in knowledge for the customer.

Because if you develop as a man through this, in the end have more success with women, it is worth the money. Because personality development is the key to success, not only with women. But what exactly does a pick-up artist teach? First of all, every seduction coach has a bit of their own seduction philosophy that they teach their clients. Nevertheless, many pick-up gurus swear by getting rid of "beta" traits, which have an evolutionary effect of being unattractive to women. "Beta" as a contrast to the aspired ideal of the "alpha" man. This is because women consciously or unconsciously choose their partners according to the principle of natural selection. That is, they look for "good genes" or high-quality characteristics for the procreation and care of potential offspring. These one(s) would have to prove when courting a woman. The lady of his choice will test him, which is also called "shit test" in the scene. Whoever passes here wins her favor and maybe her heart.

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A good Pick-Up Artist masters the Shit-Test

But how does one pass such a shit test? First of all, by not letting go. No woman wants a man who immediately gives up at the slightest obstacle. Similar to the knight who first has to slay the dragon to get his princess. No matter how dismissive a woman is, maybe it's just a shit test. Unless she calls the police, there is reason to hope, after all. Pick-Up also teaches behavioral and communication techniques to help in such situations. Do you make good eye contact, maintain good posture, and choose appropriate topics of conversation? As long as you can't answer these questions with a "yes," a pick-up artist would send you for tutoring first. And perhaps not without good reason. The scene exudes a seductive optimism. You can do it - no matter who you are or what woman you're interested in.

Can any woman be conquered?

So does pick-up work, or can any man become a pick-up artist and seduce the most attractive women? Well, I would like to tell a story about that. My wife has had the pleasure of meeting a pick-up artist a few times since she has been living with me in America. To be more precise, they were pick-up trainees rather than artists. Because my wife didn't feel very impressed. She asked me at home why men in Germany needed such a thing. Was it so difficult to meet a woman, she said. In Russia this is unthinkable. There, every man would have sex, even if he was so inconspicuous. No one would have to go through pick-up coaching for that. Of course, her opinion could be dismissed as that of a wife who was no longer looking for a partner. Accordingly, she was not interested in the advances of the self-proclaimed seduction artists. So, can any man conquer attractive russian woman?

I maintain no, at least not in USA. Because in the final analysis Pick-Up concentrates only on one adjusting screw of the male attractiveness, on appearance and charisma. Other factors, which are mostly irrevocably genetically determined (especially physical attractiveness) are deliberately left out of the equation so as not to put any obstacles in the way of boundless optimism. In my experience, women with above-average attractiveness are more than aware of their high market value in USA. That's why they are not considered demanding for nothing, and unattainable for many men. I dare to doubt that this is just a particularly demanding shit test that you simply have to master. The attractive women in my environment, usually also have a similarly attractive man at their side. These men are not only self-confident, they are often also well-built, i.e. physically attractive or at least not below average looking. An attractive woman in USA has no standards but demands.

You can do it - or not

Charisma and appearance are unfortunately only one criterion out of many, what makes you attractive as a man for a woman. However, I would like to note that each person is also character-wise to some extent unchangeable. An extremely timid person can certainly work on his shyness. He can develop himself further and make a more self-confident impression on his fellow men. But whether he can ever mutate into an ice-cold supermacho, I strongly doubt. Are pick-up artists therefore charlatans to whom one should better not throw one's money? Is the whole philosophy around Pick-Up a promise that cannot be realized? Yes and no. 

Pick-Up Artist - in the end just a charlatan?

I would never claim that Pick-Up Artists are scammers who financially exploit the frustration of single men in America. I myself met an enthusiastic Pick-Up devotee who now even offers coaching sessions himself, i.e. works as a Pick-Up Artist. He was completely convinced of what he was doing, just as he was able to help his customers with their problems. Because he certainly helped one or the other to be more successful with women. Of course, it is important to work on his social skills. A shy insecure man will hardly be able to attract a woman in today's America. Moreover, it can't hurt to question the propagated ideal of the emancipated "softie man". I don't know who put this ideal into the world, but it can't have been a (heterosexual) woman. She seems to find this guy "nice" but "too boring" for fun in the box.


However, as far as pick-up is concerned, one must not lose ground under one's feet either. You may be able to raise your own market value and eventually conquer a "7" instead of a "5." But whether it will ever be enough - purely through personality development - for an "8" remains questionable. Furthermore, one must also be able to permanently "lift" the "7" in a relationship. If at some point the pick-up routine is missing and the personality regresses to what it was before, the "7" becomes moody and erratic. Quickly, one is back to the "5" and perhaps quite satisfied, because even the "7" was not worth the stress.

Conclusion: The Ukrainian partner market remains unattractive

It doesn't hurt to work on yourself. However, there is one screw that is much more promising than all the personality training of all the pick-up artists in the world. Think of Ukraine as a partner market. There are many other partner markets. If you can't get the women you secretly dream of with your way, then try somewhere else? In my book "Why Russian women make you happier" I deal with this very topic. Because globally, Germany is a rather unattractive environment for a man to meet a woman. But Ukraine is not an island. If you want "more", you will find that good.